All I want is an umbrella in my drink

I have been experiencing my yearly winter sad fest where I think all is wrong with me and the world. Not good blog fodder unless you like to wallow in others misery. I think anyone who lives in any part of the North American continent that experiences snow should be given a week long paid vacation to somewhere warm in January. I'm also in need of a haircut in a bad way which always ruins my mood. Oh poor Shea, needs a haircut and has to wait until next week. I am looking forward to getting my eyebrows waxed on Saturday. It's time to tame these Eastern European suckers! So yeah, I'm grumpy which makes blogging seem silly but I'm going to put something out there anyway.
This is keeping me going. Photos of our resort.




Are Toms shoes ugly?
It's not secret I'm a bit of a fashion victim (Uggs. Seriously.) but whatever. I'm contemplating buying some Toms shoes. Ryan thinks they are hideous but he pretty much hates all kinds of shoes I like except high heels and all-stars. I need opinions from others. Don't be diplomatic.

Speaking of fashion victims
It's official, I'm an idiot. A friend told me about a website that sold Uggs for about half price. Yes, they were in China but even real UGGS are made in China. I know! Surprised? I envisioned some Paul Hogan type sheering a sheep and stitching my boots in a quaint Aussie workshop. No, it's most likely 13 year old Chinese girls who get paid in slaps. I ignored all the warning signs (horrible English translations on the website was one) and ordered my boots. When they came, it was obvious they were fakes. They looked pretty good but I could tell. Also my much more intelligent friend Kim, sent me to the official UGGS website that tells you how to spot counterfeit websites. Yep, mine was one. That would have been useful information before I ordered them Kim. I'm kind of weird about fake things, especially shoes. So it really bugged me that they weren't real. I put them on KSL disclosing that they were fakes and actually sold them last week. I took the money plus some birthday money and bought these:

When you are hypothyroid your feet are always cold in the winter. They may not be cute but they keep my feet warm. It's better than giving up and wearing slippers everywhere.

Family "fun"
The girls played Just Dance2 at a friend's house and told me they wanted to pool their money and buy it. Hanna had just babysat for the first time and was feeling rich. If you need a babysitter, Hanna is more responsible than the rest of the Van Fleet's put together. We drove to GameStop where Hanna traded in 3 DS games and Grace 1. Ryan bought the game and then we figured out what they each owed us after in the car. I can tell you that Grace does not understand economics. There were so many things wrong with her reasoning, I found it alarming. As far as I can tell, she thinks Wii games cost about $10 (reality $40-50) and that if your sister trades in more games than you, you should still be responsible for the same amount. There was crying, loud talking (trying not to yell) and then laughter which only made the crying worse. Is it wrong that we laugh when our children cry? Prolly.
Just dance is wicked fun and a killer workout. It fulfills my secret desire to be a go-go dancer.

We've done made a fine nerd
Hanna passed the advanced placement test for jr. high. It's official, my child is "advanced". You may all bow down and worship me because I'm obviously the best parent ever. It must be because of all those days I placed her in front of Dora with some cheerios and a sippy cup while I went back to sleep. I bet it was the co-op preschool Kristin and I did that involved our kids who-knows-what together while we gossiped. We will let Hanna decide if she wants to participate in the program. Honestly, it looks like a lot of work for both her and us. I might be too lazy to have an "advanced" kid.

She could see no good reason to act her age

When I came to Utah in 1992 to attend university, I'd never heard of an inversion. I don't think Southern Alberta has "bad air days". I distinctly remember the first time I saw an inversion over the valley. I was walking to Subway from my dorms on 900E in Provo and I noticed this weird cloud rolling in over the valley. I asked my friend from Utah about it and he said, "Oh, that's the inversion." I remember thinking it looked really ominous, like a fog that was going to turn your skin inside out. Since I was 18 and experiencing complete freedom for the first time, that's about as far as my thinking went. Yesterday while driving home from Salt Lake, the inversion was bad, like equivalent to smoking a pack of smokes a day bad. Ryan and Hanna have both had hacking coughs and I've felt like poo for a few days. I started to wonder if it could be linked to the inversion/poor air quality? Friday at school, kids with breathing troubles were told to stay inside during recesses. If I think about it too much I get a little freaked out. Maybe next time you see me in the winter I'll be wearing a gas mask, while huddled in my basement panic room.
Mmm...soupy

Her gigantic brain will rule us
I was reading Mimismartypants.com the other day and once again marveled at her daughter's extremely huge brain. Remember, Nora is in first grade.
Nora: Look at this string! It’s from my sock.
Me: Okay.
Nora: It’s like a memory. A memory of my sock!
Me: Mmmm.
Nora: And if I hold it like this [holds string horizontally] it’s like past and future. Okay, listen. Say today is to your left, okay? And to your right, is [spooky voice] 100 MILLION YEARS AGO. Everything’s fine, though. But watch! [Tilts string diagonally to the right] OH NO! THE ECONOMY OF THE WORLD IS RUINED!
Me: [speechless]
Nora: [mostly to herself, more spooky voice] Which way should I tilt it? WHICH…WAY…? The Earth is spinning around and [tilt] OH NO NOT AGAIN! NO MORE ECONOMY! [pause] Anyway. Say goodbye to the memory string! [goes to throw it in the garbage]
Me: [more boggling, more speechlessness]

Now, Nora is exceptionally gifted and attends a special school in Chicago for gifted students but I had to laugh after reading this because I compared it to the conversation I heard my first graders having at the carpet on Friday.
Kids: [while poking each other] You have the cheesetouch*! No! Now you have the cheesetouch! You have the cheesetouch!
Me: Okay, remember no cheesetouch inside the classroom. Save the cheesetouch for outside.
Man, I love my class! For reals.

Why is it always about you?
I'm turning 37 in a few days and I'm feeling pretty "meh" about it. No one likes getting older but there isn't anything you can do about it. Let's focus on the positive.
Things I Can Do at 37
1. My hair dries really fast. I was going to time it the other morning but I think I can dry my hair in about 3 minutes. Beat that!
2. I can finish an hour long cycle class without puking or passing out and I can run a few miles.
3. I don't have to color my hair due to gray, yet.
4. I can do more man style push-ups than my 11 year old daughter.
5. I earn enough money that I could support my family if something happened to Ryan or I found a better option. ;)
6. I can go to Mexico with my husband who is turning 40.
7. I don't have the cheesetouch!

Gym grumps
I'm kind of a gym grump. I like my cycle class and the people in it. I feel like the regulars have kind of a community feel going and they might even talk me into attending the monthly 3 hour class. The rest of the classes, I go to with the mindset to workout and get out. I don't want to converse with anyone, interact with anyone or have anyone in my personal space. Yep, I'm that sweet soul at the gym who glares at you when you put your step too close to mine. Oh and don't even get me started on newbies who take the last bike or my spot under the ceiling fan. Don't you know that's my spot! Yet, I love the gym. It's weird eh? I like having an instructor yell and me to "go faster" or tell me I'm doing something wrong, "step wider!"Maybe I'm an exercise sadist? I checked my running stats for 2010 and I ran 372 miles. That's 40 less than last year but I went to gym classes more this year. I ran an average of 8 miles a week which I'm honestly good with. I also ran faster this year than in 2009 and shaved my time/mile off by 33 seconds. This year my goal is to run 500 miles. That's the only thing close to a resolution I'm making.
Just like the pioneers
The family got a new sewing machine for Christmas and Grace has been really gung-ho about sewing things. Santa brought her a kit to make a doll with clothes and, with the help of Ryan, she finished it this week. I'm glad I married someone who can do things like sew because I HATE the tedium of it. I flashback to many a jr. high home ec classes where Mrs. Haynes was mad at me because I had to, yet again, unpick a seam because I had done it wrong. She scared me.


*I had to ask Hanna what the "cheesetouch" was and it's is from the book "Diary of a Wimpy Kid." There was a moldy piece of cheese on the playground and the kids would touch it, then touch another kid saying "They had the cheesetouch!"