You Will Learn

I was cleaning out my computer desk and look what I found. Noelle's Cliff Notes for The Fascinating Girl. I was pretty excited because I thought I threw it out after 14 years.



That's Noelle's face on the cover. She's doing her darndest to figure out how to make one of these attractive, masculine men propose marriage to her. Luckily she has just the right book to teach her how to be more attractive to men.

You will learn:
What men find fascinating in women
The kind of woman a man wants
How to awaken a man's feelings of love and tenderness
How to understand men, their special needs, characteristics and vulnerable points
The way to self confidence with men
How to be a good conversationalist
Feminine wiles and ways
The real charm that men find in women
How to be adorable when angry (I might actually like to learn this)
How to make a man feel like a man
Strategy with men and keys to winning them
Where and how to find a man
Choosing a mate-what to look for
The six stages of winning a man
How to make men notice you
Arousing his interest and love
Mistakes that drive men away
Sex and affection, the wise and the foolish aspects
Removing the obstacles to marriage
How to create a romantic situation
Principles of inspiring a proposal

Holy crap! That is everything I will ever need to know in life. Forget anything about me or my self-worth as long as I'm pleasing a man I'll be happy. I've picked my favorite exert from the cliff notes to share with you all:

"If you are a large, tall or strong woman you will have to work to disguise these features so that men will have the impression that you are little and delicate. And if you are an efficient and capable woman, you will have to "unlearn" these traits. As you begin to develop your feminine nature, the one you were born with, you will tend to lose some of your qualities of fearlessness and efficiency and supplant them with the virtues of true femininity."

Luckily I am neither large or tall but I am capable. At least I only have to "unlearn" a few things. I would much rather be incapable. This is all making sense to me now. What man wouldn't want a small, weak, incapable, inefficient and fearful mate? Amen Helen Andelin. Amen.

Now I'm Fascinated

My friend Kristin emailed me this today.

Fascinating Womanhood


She said it "curdles my stomach" which made me laugh. Maybe if we all applied some of the fascinating principles in our lives our marriages would be so very much better. I was a bit freaked out when I opened the page because Mrs. Andelin looked remarkably like her granddaughter/my weirdo roommate Mindy.

The Not So Fascinating Girl

A)"When does Beverly Hills 90201 start?"
B)"Does Jed in Book of Mormon 100 think I'm fascinating?"
C)"Why can't everything be made out of stonewashed denim?"
D)"Should we stay up until 3 or 4 am making prank phone calls to the boys dorms tonight?"

My sophomore year at BYU I lived on condo row in the infamous Wellington #9. That's me above in the very stylish black head band sporting the "freshman 15" and super dorky matching outfit. WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!I had originally signed on to room with 3 other good friends but two of them bailed (you know who you are) in the summer and so we ended up living with two strangers. Strange being the key word with these two. One was a "cowgirl" named Mindy from "the south" who did acrobatics on horses backs. While there are many a Mindy story to tell I am going to focus on her connection to a book called "The Fascinating Girl" by Helen Andelin. My friend Noelle had actually found this book the year before at the second hand book store... The Fascinating Girl
and we had many a late night reading this horrible horrible book. Pretty much it was the antithesis of us which made it a lot of fun to read. Basically if you want to win and keep a man by acting like a brainless maid servant, it's the book for you. Apparently this was a big hit with young Mormon women in the 60's and 70's. So back to Mindy. We didn't like Mindy at all and we, being 19 and too cool for school, weren't afraid of showing it. One day we were rummaging through her dresser and happened to find this book tucked away inside. We opened it up and found it had been lovingly highlighted throughout. This explained a lot to us about Mindy. We came up with a plan to ask her about the book later and long story short, found out that her grandmother was none other than Helen Andelin! Poor, sweet Mindy never had a chance. Mindy moved out in December and I think later that year we received her wedding invitation. She was a fascinating girl after all. The reason I brought this up is because last night in a state of insomnia I thought about naming my blog "The Fascinating Girl" or "The not so Fascinating Girl". What do you think?