I need Fuzzy Bunny's Guide to You-Know-What

Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You.Know.What


This is an actual conversation I had with the girls last week. We had just come back from an open house at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple and I asked them if they would like to be married in the temple. They said they would and I asked them if they knew what they needed to do to be able to do that. What I should have said (thanks Karen) was, "You need to keep the commandments." Instead I said, they had to refrain from drinking/smoking/doing drugs and they couldn't be having sex*. I'm horrible at these off-the-cuff conversations and am guilty of giving way too much information. See how wrong this conversation goes, if not to just feel better about your own parenting.

Hanna: Why can't you have sex? I thought when you get married so you can do that?

Me: Yes, you can have all the sex you want after you're married but it's better to save that for after you're married. Having sex before you're married can lead to things like having a baby before you want one or getting a disease.

Hanna: I don't want a baby! What kind of diseases?

Me: Diseases you can only get from having sex. (I now realize this conversation is not going how I wanted it to. I'm making sex sound like a horrible thing that gives you diseases!)

Hanna: Gross!

Me: Wait, no um it's...

Grace: What's sex?

Me: Well it's what you do when, um it's...(I'm about to say "When a man and a woman love each other very much, the man takes his...)

Hanna: It's what dad talked to me about last year and I started crying but I'm older now.

Me: Maybe we need to sit you both down and have a talk about this, later.

HAPPIER THINGS

Ryan's mom has been wanting to go on the Heber Valley Railroad for quite some time, so she invited us to go along with her this weekend. It was really beautiful in the canyon because of all the rain we've had.

We both got haircuts this week. Can you even tell? I highlighted mine for the first time in years. Whatever. I'm digging it but having a hard time making it "messy" like Chad told me to do. It just wants to go straight. Can't fight nature.


The train stopped halfway because we were being held up by outlaws. The kids thought this was great.

I signed my contract on Friday which means I'm officially hired by the district. I feel like such a grown-up. To celebrate I bought these shoes. I know, not something you might normally see me sporting but I thought they'd look great for the summer with dresses. They make me feel super tall and has me wondering why God didn't make me that tall to begin with. I almost returned them because of their impracticality but instead told Ryan I was keeping them and that, "I was going to rock these shoes!" He said, "I don't know what that means."


*There are certain requirements that Mormons must meet before they can be married in the temple. These are just a few of them.

Bloggity blog blog

My dad called me out for not blogging lately, so I will try to get something going. We've been really busy lately with visitors. Ryan's 90 year old Grandma came from Oregon for about 10 days, which was great but also hard. Her health has deteriorated to the point where she can't go up and down stairs/steps without help so we weren't able to do much more than take her on drives. Evelyn has been saying since her husband passed away about 4 years ago that she just wants to die. It's kind of said in jest but I think there is a lot of truth to it. Ryan jokes with her that she should either stop taking her medications or take all of them at once. That's the kind of relationship Ryan and his Grandma have, which I think is kind of terrific. But yeah, got me thinking about old age and how we need to live our lives to the fullest while we can.

Now I remember what I was going to center this blog post around, how friends are great. After Grandma left, our friends Mike, Christine and Claire from the Chicago area came for a visit. I met Christine 9 years ago when we were pregnant and due in the same month. We met on an internet board along with 15 or so other women and we've kept the board going (now it's private) for all these years. When our family took a trip to Chicago a few years ago with stayed with their family for a couple of days. After we left Ryan said, "Those are some of the nicest people I've ever met." So it was really fun to have them here for a few days. I racked my brain trying to think of Utahy things to do and I think I did a pretty good job. You forget how beautiful the scenery here is, so it's kind of nice to have people from out of town to remind you. We went to Temple Square in Salt Lake and the tabernacle. They took a tour of Brigham Young's house with us where Mike and Christine learned that "wholesome family fun" is best. No more taking Claire to the strip bar with them. We then drove to Park City and home through Provo Canyon which was looking extra nice due to Noah-ish amount of rain we've been getting. Point of the story is, the internet has made me some of my best friends and while you might think it's strange or creepy, don't knock it until you've tried it.

*click to enlarge*
A friend saw this picture and commented on how Hanna was almost to my chin. When you're freakishly short it doesn't take much for your kids to be taller than you.

Claire and Grace were born on the same day just hours apart. All three girls got along so well that we threatened to adopt Claire into our family. This was especially horrifying to her after Ryan broke out the MC Robot.

Who said technology was bad? When we were driving down the canyon Christine would say, "Claire put down the DS and look at the mountains." Claire would grunt "Uh huh" and keep on playing. Good to know that all kids are idiots.

I'm so secure in myself that I'll put awful pictures of me on this blog. I thought Christine looked great so I made a sacrifice for her. That is why I'm going to the best heaven Christine.

The weather gods smiled upon us and there was one day without rain so we headed to the water park. Mike couldn't believe the scenery and declared that all water parks in Illinois sucked compared to the peaks.


On Friday I went to Park City to do some outlet shopping with my first grade team of teachers. I came home and told Ryan that I feel like things are really coming up Van Fleet lately. I like these women that I'm going to be working with and I think I'm going to fit in well with them. They like to shop, I like to shop. Huzzah! I overheard my mentor tell one of the other teachers who came with us but doesn't teach at the school anymore, "That I was by far the best person they interviewed." So yeah, who wouldn't feel good about that. Still, the thought of actually teaching 27 (yes 27!) 1st graders still scares the living shit out of me but at least I have friends that are there for me.

This is why I never wanted a sister

I did want a sister, in fact begged my mom for one, when I was (I think) 12 years old. I told her if she just had the baby, I would take care of it. I had dreams that I had a baby sister and I kept it in my doll cradle by my bed. It was probably named something like Roxanne or Diane. In reality I was stuck with a mean older brother, who became cooler as we got older. When I got older I realized that having a brother was the best because you didn't have to worry about being thinner than him or fight over clothes or boyfriends. I talk to friends who tell me stories about a parent favouring one sister over another and I feel glad I don't have that kind of competition. I feel special because I'm the only girl and Monti probably feels special because he is the only boy. Now I realize that if I had a sister, I would probably think differently but this blog isn't about "imaginary Shea" but "boring old real Shea". When I had my second daughter I starting to think about how they would interact with each other. Would they fight or be best friends? Would I favour one over the other? Would one be cute/smart and the other ugly/dumb? I didn't know how the whole sister dynamic would work. I'm happy to say that they are both cute/smart and the do get along well most of the time. There is one problem we've been having that I don't really know how to deal with, Grace weighs more than Hanna. Probably for about a year now, Grace has outweighed Hanna by maybe 3-5lbs. The reason they know this is because they like to play on the electric scale. At first I thought it was no biggie because they just thought it was fun. Now I hear things like, "Lamefriend makes fun of me because I told her I weigh more than Hanna." Obviously Grace, for some weird reason, likes to tell her friends this. I think it's because she is masking the deep pain of weighing more than her older sister. I like to overreact like that. They both are a healthy weight but they are built differently, as they have been from birth. I don't think one eats more or gets less activity, in fact I think Grace can be more active than Hanna. I don't want this to be a life long thing where they compare each other's weights. I decided to hide the scale and we're going to have a "family night" about being healthy and everyone has different bodies. I've told each of then many times that everyone's bodies are different and no one in this family is "fat" but I worry that it's not sinking in. I'm a good example for exercising but I'm sure I let things slip about being unhappy about my body. That is something I'm going to work on. We are also going to work on eating healthier which to me means more fruits, vegetables and no more Luther Burgers.

MC Robot

Hanna turned 10 today and one of her presents was a super awesome keyboard. We needed one because our piano was borrowed from Ryan's mom so we decided not to move it. Ryan set the keyboard up and what followed had me almost peeing my pants. Ryan has two things he can do that make me laugh to crying and one is the MC (mentally challenged) Robot. He broke that our and I was fortunate enough to have my camera in hand to capture it. I had to do a lot of convincing for him to let me put this on here so be gentle.

MC ROBOT from Shea Van Fleet on Vimeo.

Hanna on her first birthday

Hanna turning 10. That's right, she asked for a Bitty Baby. Do you have a problem with that?

What? Pour moi?

I went to my school today to meet with the principal, get my keys and see my room. The principal was busy when I came in so I sat and chatted to the vice-principal for a bit. She was working on a MacBook so I jokingly said, "Do I get a new MacBook too?" She said, "Yes! You'll get a brand new one that is even better than mine." What?! I was just joking but I did get myself a shiny, used, MacBook today. I was hoping for a new one but really, I can't complain. The only thing I can complain about was how dirty it was. Ryan cleaned it up for me and it looks much better.

Me with Snowball II. Ryan informed me that my boobs looked saggy in this photo. I reminded him that I have a no-bra rule at home.


The principal showed me around the school which included a computer room full of new, 24 inch iMacs. My room is in need of some TLC but I think I can get it looking great by the end of the summer. I decided to take the girls to my school with me. I think it will be easier on us as a family and after some initial crying by Grace, they seem excited about it. I'm still a little stressed about it. I was telling Ryan that I worry sometimes that decisions we make will be the wrong ones and our kids will be screwed up because of them. What if, by choosing this school, they get bad friends and end up as coked-out strippers? He was the voice of reason this time and told me I was being crazy. My school is actually in, what I would describe as, fancy-town and we all know that rich people are better. Right?