Kids Like To Swim

Grace

It was bugging me when I opened the blog I had to star at trashy Britney so I've decided to post some pictures of the kids swimming. Karen's husband works at BYU so they get free passes to swim at the BYU pool. They've been nice enough to take us a couple of times. The girls really love to swim. It's also a great place to people watch. The co-eds look so young and then to make it even stranger, a lot of them are pregnant or have young kids. BYU really is a unique place. Karen's son said it was "full of nerds" or something like that. Which made me feel super cool since I was once one of those nerds. Thinking back though it did have it's share of nerds. Good times.

I almost forgot to add that Karen and I got in trouble for taking pictures. Apparently pictures are not allowed at the BYU pool. Karen and I decided that some wacky co-ed was hanging out at the pool taking pictures of girls and then posting them on the internet or something like that. I got these in before the lifeguard kindly asked us to stop taking them.




Hanna

YIKES Y'all!

I saw this picture on another site yesterday and the first thing that came to my mind was: This "woman" has a lot of money and this is what she chooses to put on in the morning? I especially like the Red Bull and cigarettes. Classy! I mean come on! I live in hillbilly central and I at least tie my leisure pants up tight enough before I head to the Wal-mart.

I Have a Bad Feeling About This

Friday night Karen (right) and Amanda (middle) took me out to dinner for my birthday. We waited for an hour at Red Lobster, which I've never been to, because Amanda loves the Red Lobster. I was so shocked when the hostess told us it was an hour wait, that I yelled "OH MY GOSH! YOU"RE KIDDING ME!" Apparently she was not and Karen was visibly mortified by my behaviour. Oh well, it wasn't the first time I'm sure. Amanda showed up predictably late and then we had a nice seafood meal. I'm think we were way too loud and that the older couple at the table beside us were giving us dirty looks. They looked a little anal retentive to me. While we were talking I brought up the fact that while Amanda and Karen read my blog, they never post a comment. I find their lack of visible support upsetting. Then they both go on to tell me they've started to make comments but then wimp out or something like that. So after they try to defend themselves I tell them I'm going to blog about the discussion we're having just to get them back. So this is their punishment, a nice big picture of them both at Red Lobster on my blog. The rest of the evening was very nice. Karen and I were drilled about our lives by Amanda's FIL while she picked up her car. Then we came back to my house where Amanda cut Hanna and Ryan's hair while I made hot chocolate with my new Cocomotion machine she gave me. Then Amanda told us some crazy stories from her youth while Karen and I pretended to act shocked. You see Karen and I have flipped people the bird before which makes us pretty evil compared to Amanda. Now for the sappy part: they're good friends and I'm happy they seem to like me.

It's Almost Thursday and Nothing That Exciting Has Happened

I didn't have a lot to blog about this week. Nothing that remarkable happened to me or anyone else I know. I got my hair cut on Tuesday with Chad. He's our stylist in Sugarhouse who is quite the character. He gives a good haircut but I thought mine was a tad short this time. Karen and Diane said it looks fine but what else are they going to say? Today I went to a new spin class at the Gold's in Orem and I thought it was tough. Some days the whole exercise thing seems harder than others.


I was thinking today about where I grew up and thought I'd share it with you. I grew up in the small town of Magrath, Alberta Canada. The two websites I found Town of Magrath & Magrath, AB were both equally horrible but you will at least get an idea of what it is like. The population when I lived there was around 1500. I think it's grown a bit since then but nothing dramatic. There is a K-12 school, two Mormon churches, a United church,library, 2 banks, post office, general store, convienience store, a couple of semi-decent places to eat, golf course, cemetary, fish pond, ball parks, ice arena, dump, town offices, gas station, buffalo sloped grain elevator, other grain elevators, RCMP station/house and that's about it. No traffic lights either. I thought it was a good place to grow up in. There was a lot of open space and we pretty much went and did whatever we wanted to. I sometimes look back and wonder if my parents really knew where I was 90% of the time. We played in ditches filled with water a lot and I'm amazed that no one ever drowned. A little fact is: I worked for the Town of Magrath for 3 years and one of my duties was the cemetary which was also a place we played in a lot as kids. As a teenager we did some stupid things and the cops usually were nice to us. I remember one night getting caught driving on the mainstreet sidewalk with a friend riding on the roof of the car. They just told us to stop. We also got caught at the fish pond one night driving while trying to fit as many people as possible into a friends car. Notice how none of these stories involve alchohol or drugs. That's because Magrath is about 99.9% mormon which meant my friends were mormon which meant we didn't drink or do drugs. I'm not saying it never went on but I just wasn't a part of that group. Those kids were "skids", "headbangers", or heaven forbid, "sluts'! You know a town is odd when it's cool to be in the marching band. My parents still live in Magrath and I love visiting every summer. There is something calming about that town and I want my kids to experience that. That being said, I don't want to live in Magrath though. Two reasons are: it's windy pretty much all the time and it's freakin cold in the winter. I also like to think that I'm cooler and more wordly than people who stayed. I know this isn't true because look where I'm living Santaquin but it makes me feel better about my situation. I guess I wish my kids had the freedom I did growing up but times have changed and I'm not about to let them go play in ditches.

Don't Mess With Me Psycho Gym Girl!

In November and December I started attending the Saturday morning spin class at my gym on a regular basis. It starts at 9:15 and I never had a problem finding a bike to ride. Well with January come all the new years resolution people who fill up all the classes for about a month (I'm hoping). I show up in January for my spin class only to find it was full. For the next two weeks I went a little bit earlier each time only to find that it was either full or people were saving bikes for themselves and friends by putting a towel or water bottle on the bike. This drove me nuts! If you are not on the bike you shouldn't be able to save it. In the aerobics room there's a sign that says "no saving of equipment" so why can't it be this way for the bikes? Yesterday I decided to call and make an anonymous complaint about the saving. We'll I think the guy I talked to might have had the poorest reasoning skills of anyone ever. I told him I didn't think it was right that people were saving bikes. He basically said "what can I do about it?" Hello? You run the gym. I'm sure you can put up a sign that says "no saving of bikes". He kept saying "I'll make a note of that but there isn't really anything I can do if the instructor doesn't agree." Don't the instructors work for you? I brought up the aerobics room rule and he acted like that was news to him. Maybe he never leaves the front desk. Today I decide to leave extra early in hopes of getting a bike. I ate cheese fries at The Training Table yesterday and I really needed to burn off some calories. I got there about 20 mins early and as when I walk into the room there are about 4 people on bikes and 20 bikes with assorted "saving devices" on them. I was so pissed! Another lady was standing there with me so we said something to the instructor. She told us that as long as they were in the gym and got to class before it started then they could save bikes. We argued over the unfairness of this and she seemed to see our point. She then told us that she knew one woman (apparently another instructor) calls ahead and has a lackey save her and her friend a bike. Natalie, the instructor, did not think this was fair. So she took the towels off those bikes and told us we could have them. Well I know who this woman is and she scares the crap out of most people there. She's loud, obnoxious and mean looking. I find her extremely irritating and from what I can tell she spends the majority of her life at the Spanish Fork Gold's Gym. The other woman and I give each other these looks like knowing that the sh*t is going to hit the fan when Psycho Workout Girl sees that her towels are gone. The class starts to fill up and eventually everyone is on a bike. Well here she come sauntering in and looks around for her saved bike. Seeing none open she says "DID SOMEONE TAKE TOWELS OFF THE BIKES?" Other woman and I just stare ahead. She repeats herself and I finally say "Natalie took them off because she said someone called ahead to save them. She said we could have the bikes." Meanwhile I'm wondering why Instructor Natalie is not speaking up. Apparently she is scared of Psycho also. Psycho gives me a dirty, starts doing some weird dance while saying "no they didn't" and says she is going to go talk to "someone". I can tell everyone in the class thinks she's cuckoo but won't say anything. One of the desk people comes back and Instructor Natalie tells him that they should not be calling ahead to have bikes saved. Mike says "ok no saving then?" Natalie says "Yes." So Psycho girl comes back and by then there is an empty bike because someone didn't show up. She gets by her bike which is across the rooom. Looks straight at me and says something like "If we can't save bike then someone needs to tell Mike instead of just taking the towels off." Oh don't mess with me Psycho Gym Biatch!! I look right at her and say "I didn't take your towel off. Natalie did and gave us the bikes." She sits down and the class starts. Instructor Natalie, who is pregnant BTW, tells us we are going to work all this anger off and proceeds to try to kill us. After the class was over as I was walking out another "gym rat" says to me "Way to stick up for yourself today." So at least I got a little respect at the gym now. Damn!

Missing Evie

I wanted to write something this week about Evie since this was when we were supposed to meet her. I have a lot of feelings and emotions going on and it's hard to put them into words. Now that I sit down to write this I don't feel like anything can do these last few months justice. Obviously I'm sad. I'm sad that we don't have our daughter with us and that our girls do not have a new sister. The sadness can overwhelm me at times but I think it is getting better. Evie was our miracle baby after a string of early miscarriages. Everything pointed to a healthy baby and in August when we found out this was not so, it was the worst day of my life. It's hard for me to even think about that day or the following week and when my mind starts to go there I try to redirect it. I was apprehensive to see her for the first time because the doctors had prepared us for the fact that she would not look "normal" but when they gave her to me to hold for the first time it was so easy to look beyond her imperfections. She was so tiny that she fit in the palm of Ryan's hand and except for her cleft lip and palate, looked "normal". We fell in love with her the same way we fell in love with the girls when they were born. She was tiny but beautiful and I felt God near when she was with us. Evie's problems were not on the outside though. It was inside where she was really sick. Every organ in her body was affected and not forming properly. When we had to let her go I thought my heart would break. I don't know why this happened and I don't see this as any sort of blessing. I want my daughter here with me healthy and happy. I try to think about postives because I don't want to associate Evie with only negatives. Ryan was wonderful through the whole thing and without him I don't think I would have made it. He told me he would do whatever I wanted and he has. I have to say that one of the hardest things was watching him watch the nurse take Evie away. He loved her so much. I have had such support and love from friends and family. It's been amazing. There are certain people who really came through for me and I will forever love them for this. I'm hoping that in time I will find peace and I'll be able to think about Evie without feeling so sad or mad. Right now I feel this sense of loss that I can't seem to shake. I think about what she would have looked like or been like. I wish I could have a glimpse of her just for a minute. I know she would have been as beautiful as our other daughters. I don't feel like this post has done Evie's memory justice. I think I'm just not in a good place yet and so it's hard to really say what I'm feeling. I just miss her so much. I've attached a picture of Evie's feet that the hospital took for us. I'm not ready yet to share her picture with the world.

Hanna's Horrible Secret

Hanna slept in this morning which is odd for her. She and Grace are usually up before us, watching cartoons in the living room. Ryan asked her why she was so tired and if she was feeling ok. She said "Yes. Do you want to know the horrible secret?" Umm Yes! "I stayed up reading last night using my glowstick as a light." Pretty horrible. Kid loves reading so much she has to sneak it in by the light of a glowstick at night. Here is a picture of her presenting her report on Canada yesterday in class.

Christmas Officially Over at Van Fleet Home

I just wanted to let everyone know we finally took down the Christmas tree. It was still fresh and looked nice so we were being extra lazy about getting it taken care of. Usually we do this the first week of January but neither Ryan or I seemed to care enough to do anything about it this year. Not a great start.

The other fabulous news is that we just got DVR or Tivo. I'm thinking this is going to change our lives and strengthen our marriage. Ryan will no longer be disappointed when his show was not recorded properly and I will no longer have anxiety about recording said shows. Also fast forwarding through commercials has got to be the greatest feeling ever. Ryan is holding a seminar tonight to teach the girls how to use the new remote. I'm going to the gym instead.

Blame It On Karen

I decided for my birthday that I wanted some jewelry. It's not something I buy for myself nor do I own much of it. I have my wedding band, a diamond anniversary band, pearl earrings and that's about it unless you count Target jewelry. Karen turned me on to the Argento store in the mall that sells reasonably priced and my kind of jewelry. So last week Ryan showed up at Karen's store asking her to help him pick out some jewelry for me. Karen told me it went something like this:

Ryan: So Shea says she wants jewelry for her birthday. I blame you.
Karen: Why don't you ever blame me for the good things?
Ryan: What good things?
Karen: Why must we fight Ryan?
Ryan: Are you going to help me or not?
Karen: Anything for my best est girlfriend Shea-Shea.
Ryan: She is wonderful isn't she.
Karen & Ryan in unison: WE LOVE SHEA!

Scene


The next day Karen and I are shopping and she tells me she wants to go to Argento to look at "The Ring". We look around at other things and she is trying to get me to commit to a piece. Me being the dense person I am will not give her any sort of idea because I never buy it and don't think Ryan would either. Anyway long story short Ryan got me this really nice pearl and silver bracelet from Israel. It's one of a kind and he spent a unRyan like sum on it. I was very pleased. I used the rest of my birthday money to buy the matching earrings. So thank you Karen and Ryan for joining forces and picking out a great birthday present.

Oh My Gosh Y'all, It's My BIRTHDAY!

Mom and Me
January 12, 1974

Yes it's that time of year again. The time where I want everyone to stop
what they are doing and remember the glorious day that I was born. It's
true. I really want people to make a big deal about my birthday. I'm
sure it's due to some childhood birthday trauma or low self-esteem but
that's how it is mister. I'm 33 now, halfway to 66 which I hear is a
big deal. On my birthday I take a second to think about what I thought
my life would be like at 33. I guess it's not far from what I imagined
it to be. I'm married with kids, although Ryan is not an brain surgeon
who keeps me in diamonds and furs but oh well. I thought I'd have four
kids named Star,Morrissey , Roxanne and Sunny or insert ridiculous name
here. The four kids did not happen and while that is a topic for
another post I'll just say I'm glad I got the two I did. I've decided
that year 33 is going to be The Year of Shea wherein I accomplish big
things. This will be the first year in many where I'm not trying to get
pregnant, pregnant, miscarrying or having a baby. I'm free to do
whatever I want with my life and I'm going to make good decisions. One
goal is to keep it up at the gym and finally have that body I've always
wanted. Not just skinny but firm. I have more but I think it's good to keep some things to myself. Anyway I just wanted to reflect a little and tell those who helped me make it through 33 years that I love them.

Sporty Shave Ken You're Totally Awesome!

It's Ken with a whole new look for 1980. He's athletic. He's all man. He even shaves! Kids can draw a beard on his face and then "shave" it off. Again and again. Or draw a funny mustaches. It's fun! They can pretend he's a tennis star or marathon runner with or without a mustache. (Ok that's odd. I wonder if having or not having a mustache makes a difference in your sports performance) He's got a big date with glamorous Barbie doll and he's been working out all day. Never fear-everything's included to help him get ready. Our man Ken comes with beard marker, shaving mug, 2 shavers, after shave/colonge bottle, toothbrush, toothpaste tube, hairbrush, comb, hair dryer, wristwatch, tennis racket, jacket, shorts, long pants, shoes.

My brother sent me this a while back and I just remembered I had it. I got this fine Sporty Shave Ken for Christmas when I was about 7 years old. I totally remember opening it up and using the marker to make his beard and then "shaving" it off. I don't know if I asked for this or if it was a spontaneous present from the parents. I find it to be a rather odd choice for a 7 year old girl but I've never claimed to be normal. I remember thinking his hair was so totally awesome. Since I am a keeper of many useless things, I still have this Ken and my girls now play with it. The marker and shaving accessories are long gone and I gave him a fine buzz cut many years ago. Luckily I also kept my very first Barbie, California Dreamin Barbie to keep him company. What are some odd childhood toys you remember playing with or even crazier, still have?

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Curse Words

When my brother and his family were here for Christmas we took the cousins to Kiddie Kandids to get a picture taken for my mom. It was a bit of an ordeal which I admit was my fault because I insisted on more pictures after we already had one good one. In this one they are lined up according to age. Beth (5) Grace (5) Hanna (7) Ethan (8).



Beth really wanted this winter scene and I was fine with that. I figured if they are happy then the picture turns out even better. Look at the girl's fabulous matching dresses.



The photographer suggested the individual photo and then make it into a collage. Very good idea and much easier to get one kid to smile/look nice than all together. I think they all ended up rather cute. The Grandparents should be proud.

Crying While Eating

I got this off of Mimi Smartypant's
blog and it made me chuckle. I didn't watch the videos but
instead read the blurbs. I want Karen to watch the one where the guy
has a cat sitting on his shoulders. I think she'd really dig that one. This is mine:
What she's eating:
Mandarin oranges, peanut butter on whole wheat toast.
What she's crying about:
Not enough comments on my blog.
Crying While Eating

Sale at Banana Republic

I stopped by the mall today and Banana Republic is having a huge sale. I don't even go in there much anymore because it's out of my price range and they women shopping in there always seem to be super skinny which fills me with jealous rage. They had a lot of things that were 50-70% off. I got this super nice $200 sweater for $60 and a couple of nice cardigans for $18 each. I'm feeling the "sale high" a bit now which is slightly disturbing. I used up the last of my Christmas gift card but I think I got some nice things. So if you have one near you I'd check it out. The sale is online also but it didn't look like they had as much selection.

WHO IS FONZY!?! Don't they teach you anything at school?

I'm very slowly moving back into teaching and today I subbed in a grade one classroom. Being a sub is hard because the kids goal is to get away with things they can't get away with when their teacher is there. So basically you spend the entire day trying to keep them from going insane. When they are seven it takes about .5 seconds for them to go from calm to chaotic. It's really amazing actually. I have a degree in early childhood education but except for teaching my children (poorly I might add) I haven't used it in a professional setting for over seven years. It's like they can sense my inexperience and are ready to take every opportunity to break me. I felt like I did pretty well today keeping the peace but I did end up making one girl cry. I didn't think I was that mean and just basically told her sternly that she needed to find something to do other than running around yelling. Seemed reasonable to me. Oh well it isn't a good day unless you make a small child cry, right? What makes this job even better is that I make less than I would at Taco Bell but it's good experience for when I do actually want to go back to work. I have to admit that I was sad going today because it's another gentle reminder that I will not be home with a new baby in a couple of weeks. I'm now entering a new phase of my life that I was not ready to enter. But at the end of the day when the kids gave me high fives and hugs as they left to go home I did feel that love for the job that I had felt years before.

Music is Fun!

This may be so 15 minutes ago but I just recently discovered The Pipettes and thought I'd share. When I listen to them they make me smile and that's good. I'm posting their video to Your Kisses are Wasted on Me but check out Pull Shapes also because it's a good song and video. You can find this all on YouTube of course. I also put both songs in the Listen section. Enjoy.

Degrassi Dilemma

I reread the previous post and it sounded a bit Degrassi Jr. High to me. BTW I'm Caitlin. I'm not a very good writer and am not very good at putting thoughts into coherent words. So my friend dilemma ended up sounded like it was written on lined paper I just ripped out of my social studies binder. Oh well you get the point. I guess what I find amazing is that even though I'm almost 33 years old I still sometimes feel like a awkward 15 year old. That a person who I know is not someone I want to be around at all still can make me feel "unpopular" and full of self-doubt is annoying. One of my goals for the new year is to not worry so much about what people think of me. Oh and to listen to certain people when they warn me that someone is "crazy".