We do things

I was browsing friend/family blogs today and realized that I don't blog much about what we do with the kids. We do actually hang out as a family quite often. We may not do super exciting things all the time. You probably don't want to see pictures or hear stories about our recent outing to Costco. Isn't it more interesting to read me bitch or being neurotic about my life? I'll just tell myself that. Last week I was called back to one of the elementary schools I interviewed at, for a second interview. This was pretty exciting for me because it meant the principal liked me enough to have me interview with the grade team. I felt like I had a great interview with the principal but a so-so one with the grade team. Something about four women asking me questions made me very nervous. Although with each interview I learn something so that is a positive. I don't think I got the job. I haven't got the call/email yet telling me I didn't but I suspect that if they loved me, they would have called me sooner. It's okay, now. I cried a lot on Friday when it started to sink in that they didn't choose me. I hadn't cried like that since I used to cry that way about Evie. I wasn't happy about being in that place again. It kind of hit me that I think of not being able to be Evie's mom as the ultimate rejection and being rejected for this job brought those feelings back to the surface. It's hard to take but I have to think that I made it to the final few out of 200 or so that applied. The reason I brought this up was, because of the interview, I had to check the girls out early on Friday and Grace missed her kick-ball party. I told her I would make it up to her but doing something she thought was just as fun. She picked bowling. This Saturday we went to the BYU bowling alley, where Ryan experienced the greatest moment of his life, and had a fun family activity that I will document with pictures.

Both my kids like to whistle a lot. I find it kind of irritating at times. Grace was waiting for her turn to bowl by swinging in her chair and whistling when I snapped this picture.

I thought this was a great picture of Hanna because it captures her happy personality. "Watch out Hanna! Brigham Young is behind you!"

Sadly, she also thinks she is "so berry cool".

Cute picture except Grace has a bit of the drunk eyes.

Hide thy nakedness!

I thought of something today that I haven't thought about for years. We were driving home from Hanna's basketball game with Ryan's parents and we started talking about gym. When Ryan's parents went to school, boys and girls had separate gym classes. Brent brought up that he never knew what the girls were doing in their gym class. We started joking that they were being taught "showering" or "tickle fighting". I told them that I never showered in our school's locker room and that I never witnessed anyone showering in it. Good Mormon girls did not shower in public unless they were wearing a swimming suit. We also did not get naked when we changed in public. We all had a mysterious ability to change while remaining fully clothed. I can change out of anything without showing you an inch of scandalous flesh. I'm pretty sure my entire girls basketball team had this talent. I have never seen any of my school friends or teammates naked. I had never seen another female naked until I went away to BYU and moved in with my "shameless" or normal roommate. We were getting ready to go out (probably to The Palace) and I turned around to see her topless! For shame! Didn't she know how to mysteriously change clothes so that we didn't see each other naked? She had grown up in Virginia so maybe they didn't teach girls modesty out there in the mission field. I've since grown up and realized/decided that nakedness among friends in some situations is not so abnormal. Who knew?

BYU, SchmeeYU

I don't like to make fun of BYU because I went there and had mostly good experiences. My theory is, you knew what you were signing up for when you applied to a church run/private university, so don't whine about it when you get there. I also know you can party it up to your heart's delight at BYU just like at any other university, you just have to know where to look. Ryan hated the rules but I never had a problem with them. I broke some rules but I just made sure the Honor Code wasn't aware of my doings. My roommate who slept overnight at her boyfriend's apartment all the time and attempted suicide by swallowing a whole bottle of Tylenol, was not so lucky (If you read this Sarah, you know I love you.) I was reported once to the Honor Code in my sophomore year when I lived off campus. We weren't supposed to have boys in our condo after midnight but I was engaged and Ryan stayed past midnight all the time. I wasn't the only one in the condo who had boys there after midnight. Oh and we were also forbidden to have boys in our rooms. Bedrooms are gateways to hell! Someone in our complex called the Honor Code on us and I don't remember much coming from it. I'm sure we told them they were mistaken, that Wellington Number Nine was full of very virtuous young women who would never dream of having a boy in the condo past midnight. Why, didn't the very thought automatically sign you up for an unwanted pregnancy? I always had this image of Honor Code spies lurking in the bushes wearing dark sunglasses and trench coats. Watching and waiting for someone or something they could report. "Oh goody! Her shorts are not 2-Z-Kneez." or "Looks like he hasn't shaved in at least a day. That cannot be tolerated!"

That brings me to the whole "guys must shave" rule. That is one I never got the point of. I just don't see how a five o'clock shadow could lead to sin? Like the scruffy face is the gateway drug of immorality. First it's a unshaven face, then it's beer and hookers. Ryan was busted for this a couple of times. Once at the testing center and once at the pool. If you know Ryan you know that he couldn't grow a beard to save his life, so it's pretty comical that he was busted for this. I'm going to post some Honor Code posters for your amusement. They were even better when I was going there back in the 90's but I can't seem to find vintage "2-Z-Kneez" posters.


Could these two be more bland? I think that guy might prefer the company of gentlemen, if you know what I mean. Click on this to enlarge it so you can read the fine print.

Take the Skinheads Bowling at BYU

It's hard to come up with family activities that I'd actually like to do. Selfish I know but there should be something we all find fun. Ryan came up with the bowling idea today and I thought that sounded doable. I was suprised he was up for it since he'd been called out the night before to a marijuana bust in Park City and didn't get home until 5:30am. Maybe 3 hours of sleep is what it takes for him to want to bowl. We always go to BYU because it's cheap and it's where Ryan and I met. The air hockey table where I was sitting when I first saw Ryan is still there. I can picture him walking in looking all un-BYU like and artsy. It was interest at first sight. Today I told the kids "that's where daddy and I met. Isn't that cool?" They looked at me like I was an idiot. Apparently they are not as sentimental about the place. Ryan and I both got an A in that class (surprise!) but our bowling has declined over the years of neglect. I once bowled a 198, Ryan a 245 but today it was 119 and 145. I think Hanna almost beat me. It was a lot of fun and the kids were especially cute today. We always go eat at the Cougar Eats after a good bowl. It's the only time Hanna and Ryan can get Taco Bell since I find it disgusting but since it's a cafeteria I don't have to eat there. All in all it was a good Van Fleet outing. Also I wanted to add that we cut Hanna's hair last week into a bob. I think it really suits her and she likes it a lot.

You Will Learn

I was cleaning out my computer desk and look what I found. Noelle's Cliff Notes for The Fascinating Girl. I was pretty excited because I thought I threw it out after 14 years.



That's Noelle's face on the cover. She's doing her darndest to figure out how to make one of these attractive, masculine men propose marriage to her. Luckily she has just the right book to teach her how to be more attractive to men.

You will learn:
What men find fascinating in women
The kind of woman a man wants
How to awaken a man's feelings of love and tenderness
How to understand men, their special needs, characteristics and vulnerable points
The way to self confidence with men
How to be a good conversationalist
Feminine wiles and ways
The real charm that men find in women
How to be adorable when angry (I might actually like to learn this)
How to make a man feel like a man
Strategy with men and keys to winning them
Where and how to find a man
Choosing a mate-what to look for
The six stages of winning a man
How to make men notice you
Arousing his interest and love
Mistakes that drive men away
Sex and affection, the wise and the foolish aspects
Removing the obstacles to marriage
How to create a romantic situation
Principles of inspiring a proposal

Holy crap! That is everything I will ever need to know in life. Forget anything about me or my self-worth as long as I'm pleasing a man I'll be happy. I've picked my favorite exert from the cliff notes to share with you all:

"If you are a large, tall or strong woman you will have to work to disguise these features so that men will have the impression that you are little and delicate. And if you are an efficient and capable woman, you will have to "unlearn" these traits. As you begin to develop your feminine nature, the one you were born with, you will tend to lose some of your qualities of fearlessness and efficiency and supplant them with the virtues of true femininity."

Luckily I am neither large or tall but I am capable. At least I only have to "unlearn" a few things. I would much rather be incapable. This is all making sense to me now. What man wouldn't want a small, weak, incapable, inefficient and fearful mate? Amen Helen Andelin. Amen.

Now I'm Fascinated

My friend Kristin emailed me this today.

Fascinating Womanhood


She said it "curdles my stomach" which made me laugh. Maybe if we all applied some of the fascinating principles in our lives our marriages would be so very much better. I was a bit freaked out when I opened the page because Mrs. Andelin looked remarkably like her granddaughter/my weirdo roommate Mindy.

The Not So Fascinating Girl

A)"When does Beverly Hills 90201 start?"
B)"Does Jed in Book of Mormon 100 think I'm fascinating?"
C)"Why can't everything be made out of stonewashed denim?"
D)"Should we stay up until 3 or 4 am making prank phone calls to the boys dorms tonight?"

My sophomore year at BYU I lived on condo row in the infamous Wellington #9. That's me above in the very stylish black head band sporting the "freshman 15" and super dorky matching outfit. WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!I had originally signed on to room with 3 other good friends but two of them bailed (you know who you are) in the summer and so we ended up living with two strangers. Strange being the key word with these two. One was a "cowgirl" named Mindy from "the south" who did acrobatics on horses backs. While there are many a Mindy story to tell I am going to focus on her connection to a book called "The Fascinating Girl" by Helen Andelin. My friend Noelle had actually found this book the year before at the second hand book store... The Fascinating Girl
and we had many a late night reading this horrible horrible book. Pretty much it was the antithesis of us which made it a lot of fun to read. Basically if you want to win and keep a man by acting like a brainless maid servant, it's the book for you. Apparently this was a big hit with young Mormon women in the 60's and 70's. So back to Mindy. We didn't like Mindy at all and we, being 19 and too cool for school, weren't afraid of showing it. One day we were rummaging through her dresser and happened to find this book tucked away inside. We opened it up and found it had been lovingly highlighted throughout. This explained a lot to us about Mindy. We came up with a plan to ask her about the book later and long story short, found out that her grandmother was none other than Helen Andelin! Poor, sweet Mindy never had a chance. Mindy moved out in December and I think later that year we received her wedding invitation. She was a fascinating girl after all. The reason I brought this up is because last night in a state of insomnia I thought about naming my blog "The Fascinating Girl" or "The not so Fascinating Girl". What do you think?