Gummi bear? It's been in my pocket; they're real warm and soft.

I was going to write this big explanation of how it all happened but it's been a long day and I'm tired. I got a call today from the principal at Beaumont Elementary School and he offered me a jobby-job. I said, "Me? Really? You really chose me? I'm so excited!" Well, I just said the excited part but I was thinking the other. So I'll be teaching grade one at Beaumont Elementary School (not the real name) next year and hopefully for many years after. I wanted to post a link to the school's website because I think it's a super cool school but I think it's best that I keep that part private. If you are my friend on Facebook or just my friend, you can google the real name and look at my new school. They use Macs so that's all I needed to know. It's still a bit much to wrap my brain around. I grew up hanging out at my mom's classrooms, then other people's classrooms and now I'll actually have my own classroom!

We dug trenches for our sprinkler system yesterday and it went really well. I'm excited to have actual sprinklers for the first time in our marriage. Look at us moving into the 20th century! I went to Target this evening and when I was pulling back into our driveway I noticed a few little kids in our trenches. They were playing in and filling up the trenches we spent hours digging! I rolled down the window and told them to stop and get out. They ran away and I went inside to tell Ryan about it. Meanwhile, the owner of the pasture behind us was flood irrigating and the water was running into our yard and collapsing our trenches. Ryan went to talk to him, got things worked out. He then walked into the front yard and those damn (milder curse than I want to use) kids were back filing in our trenches! Can you believe that? They came back after I told them to get out and decided they weren't finished. Both Ryan and I are feeling pretty upset about the whole thing. I have to go to work tomorrow and I'm worried that I'm going to come home to find our trenches filled in. It might be a xanax night.

We do things

I was browsing friend/family blogs today and realized that I don't blog much about what we do with the kids. We do actually hang out as a family quite often. We may not do super exciting things all the time. You probably don't want to see pictures or hear stories about our recent outing to Costco. Isn't it more interesting to read me bitch or being neurotic about my life? I'll just tell myself that. Last week I was called back to one of the elementary schools I interviewed at, for a second interview. This was pretty exciting for me because it meant the principal liked me enough to have me interview with the grade team. I felt like I had a great interview with the principal but a so-so one with the grade team. Something about four women asking me questions made me very nervous. Although with each interview I learn something so that is a positive. I don't think I got the job. I haven't got the call/email yet telling me I didn't but I suspect that if they loved me, they would have called me sooner. It's okay, now. I cried a lot on Friday when it started to sink in that they didn't choose me. I hadn't cried like that since I used to cry that way about Evie. I wasn't happy about being in that place again. It kind of hit me that I think of not being able to be Evie's mom as the ultimate rejection and being rejected for this job brought those feelings back to the surface. It's hard to take but I have to think that I made it to the final few out of 200 or so that applied. The reason I brought this up was, because of the interview, I had to check the girls out early on Friday and Grace missed her kick-ball party. I told her I would make it up to her but doing something she thought was just as fun. She picked bowling. This Saturday we went to the BYU bowling alley, where Ryan experienced the greatest moment of his life, and had a fun family activity that I will document with pictures.

Both my kids like to whistle a lot. I find it kind of irritating at times. Grace was waiting for her turn to bowl by swinging in her chair and whistling when I snapped this picture.

I thought this was a great picture of Hanna because it captures her happy personality. "Watch out Hanna! Brigham Young is behind you!"

Sadly, she also thinks she is "so berry cool".

Cute picture except Grace has a bit of the drunk eyes.

all the baking soda in the world could not mask the scent of her despair

I had another interview today and when I met the principal he said, "I've heard good things about you." I said, "From whom?" But in my head I'm thinking, "Who told him good things about me? Who would do such a thing?" He told me that the other principal I interviewed with referred me to him and said I had a very good interview. Good, because she thought enough of me to refer me to another principal, bad because it most likely means her position was already filled. I haven't got the official email yet telling me I didn't get the first job but I think it's coming. There is still hope for the second job but after I had the interview I thought of how I could have answered questions better. I think it is kind of played out to say, "my strength is that I love kids too much." but after this interview I realize that is the kind of thing principals want to hear, maybe just not that cheestastically. So instead of pushing how professional, creative or personable (that's right!) I am, I need to slip more, "I love kids" in there. I think I am kind of a good interviewer. You should see me in there, you wouldn't even recognize me. I'm smiling, laughing, making lots of eye contact and just generally charming. I'm going to call it "Interview Shea" or "Work Shea".

Today I reached a new milestone by running 8 miles. I ran for an hour and 16 minutes which is really a long time. I have a lot of time to think when I'm running. I thought a lot today about my interview and how I can improve on my answers. I thought about "The Year of Shea" and that so far it's going pretty well but that I need to work on not letting people, who I don't respect, have control over me. While I was thinking/running, Hanna came downstairs to "life weights" and she looked really cute in her little exercise outfit she put together. So that got me thinking about my kids, who I think are cute, and what features of theirs I wish I had. Yep, I covet my kids features. I decided I would like Grace's hair and lips and Hanna's long skinny legs and arms. Oh and Hanna also has six-pack abs that are pretty amazing. These are just some of the weird things I think about when running. I'm not always thinking and sometimes run for a long time just listening to music while staring at the water heater.

My bestest friend from Michigan, Mel, sent me this shirt from My Mottoz just because she thinks I'm super awesome. Okay it's because I beat her in a running challenge but she is a very worthy adversary and I know I'll be sending her something soon. I was about to go on a bike ride with the kids when this picture was taken. On the ride, Grace wiped out and that just added to my anxiety about them riding their bikes in Beaumont, which is a bit busier than Santaquin. Luckily the neighbours have huge yards with fences so I've decided they must be fenced in at all times. That way, everyone wins! ;)



I was in Target today buying dryer sheets and they had the Bounce dye-free, perfume-free that I normally buy, plus a Target store brand. The store brand was about 50 cents less. This to me, is not a big enough discount for me to buy generic. Then I started thinking about how much something had to be discounted for me to buy generic. I think if it would have been $1 I might have switched. I kind of have a thing where I will not buy certain generic products (Kraft Dinner, Jif, Wheat Thins, GoldFish, Diet Pepsi) but Target could have convinced me to buy generic dryer sheets if they would have discounted them a bit more. How discounted does it have to be for you to buy generic? I guess I should think of any saving as good. Be all thrifty and shit.

someone called...about something

I called my dad the other day and he mentioned that I seemed pretty down in my last post. It's true, it doesn't take much for me to get down on myself. Oh well, we all have our issues. The reason I called my dad was to tell him I had an interview! Yes, after writing that post about no one wanting me, I got a call to interview at a school in Beaumont. I only had a day to prepare as the interview was this morning. The principal told me I gave really good answers and interviewed well. It's a big relief to finally have one under my belt. It boosted my self-confidence a lot. She also told me she had 200 applicants for the two jobs she had open. I've got a lot of competition. Still, interviews are good and later today I got a call for another one at a school not far from our home. Just wanted to update with something a bit more positive. I don't have a job yet but at least people are giving me a chance.

Last night Ryan and I drove by the school I was interviewing at today and this was our conversation:

Aren't I kind of amazing? You know, hitting the pavement, working hard to get a job.

Yep, your amazing.

No! I'm serious! Doesn't it surprise you a bit? I mean, this is totally against my nature to be personally taking resumes around and you know, working hard.

I know! It has surprised me. You're the best!

We then went on to have this conversation about times in our marriage we have surprised each other. Ryan was surprised when I started exercising years ago and stuck with it. I was surprised when he wanted to quit design and be a state trooper. Then he said he was surprised that I have done so well at my job now and that I'm that I'm well thought of. So the key is, establish low expectations early in your marriage and then there is nowhere to go but up.

I heard a crazy story, then I went crazy

Crazy Story
As you all know, Sunday was Mother's Day and that means the talks in church were about mothers. Usually this is a day where I'm forced to listen to stories about fabulous supermoms that only make me feel like the worst mom ever. This Mothers Day was an exception. A man was talking about his mother and how great she was, and she did sound great, then he told this story. His mom was driving with him and his three young siblings (he mentioned that they were not in seat belts) when the car stalled on the railroad tracks. He said his mom tried to get the car going again and was eventually able to roll it back so it wasn't centered on the tracks. Then a train started coming and he said his mom heard the Holy Ghost tell her to get out of the car. He then goes on to say that his mom watched in horror as the train hit the car with her three little kids inside. Fortunately, they only suffered minor injuries. I look at Ryan, Ryan looks at me and I whisper in his ear, "That was the worst Mother's Day story ever!" I don't get it. Wouldn't the first thing you'd do if you stalled your car on railroad tracks be to get your three little kids out of the car and to safety? I would rather risk my life than watch a train hit my car with my kids inside. It seems to me that she had plenty of time since she was able to mess around with the car for a bit on the tracks. This story has been bugging me since I heard it. I don't get what the point was? Where is the heartwarming ending or moral? Let it go Shea.

Part Where I Go Crazy
Yesterday I sent the girls home with Nana because I needed to take today off to finish my cover letter, print out resumes and hand deliver them to schools I'm applying at. If you know me, the hand delivering part is about as out of my comfort zone as it gets. I think I'm going to have this wonderful sleep in since I don't have to get up to go to work but at 7 a.m. the phone rings and Nana is telling me that Hanna doesn't feel well. Hanna isn't a whiner (like the other one) so I know she must really not be feeling well. So now my plans for the day involve driving back to Santaquin which is what I really was looking forward to not doing. I spend the rest of the morning trying to make my cover letter perfect (didn't happen) and printing everything out. Then I head out to do my hand delivering. Well our GPS doesn't like the Utah grid system so I can't figure out how to enter in the first school. I drive to pretty much nowhere Beaumont*, using up about a half tank of gas and finally find the school about three miles from my house. Then I drive to another town, which is kind of fancy, and as I'm driving by all these huge houses I keep thinking, "Here I am, schlepping from town to town in my mini-van basically begging for a job and these people probably spend more on yard care in a year than what I'll eventually make." Say what you want but I think money makes some things in life much easier. It was just a nightmare day. At the first school I realize I addressed the principal as Baker on my cover letter but his name is Becker. The last school I went to, the principal was actually interviewing someone for my job as I dropped my resume off. Not a good sign. Also weird because online it says the job closes tomorrow. I didn't realize they interview before the job closes. So yeah, I'm frustrated, weary and nursing my bruised self-esteem. Today I told myself that it might not happen this year, that I might be subbing or working as a tech again. It's okay. I just have to start building those relationships again and hopefully that will lead to a job. I have a good work ethic and once people get to know me, I'm usually thought of favorably. I was offered my current job without even knowing about it or applying for it so that means something, right? This whole process has really made me feel for people who are out of work in this economy. At least I don't have to work or have a family to support. That's got to be tough.

*My cousin Chelle wins the prize for coming up with a pseudo name for our town. I'm going to send her a package of pop rocks, porridge, Mormon Baseball, seashells, kittens, manure, duMauriers and a Wayne Gretzky wind-up air hockey game.

We love you 1984 Chelle!

She had made yet another wise shopping decision

I don't talk about my job much on here but man, I am really ready for the year to be over. For those who don't know what I do, I'm a reading tutor at an elementary school and on Wednesdays I work solely with a child who has Down's syndrome. I only work 3.5 days a week so don't feel too sorry for me, yet. Since the last week in April I have not been tutoring because of state testing. Instead, I sit in a room with the other tutors and babysit kids who aren't able to take the state tests. HOLY MOLY this is boring! We have little jobs to do but they involve things like colouring, pasting, cutting and folding. I feel like I'm in kindergarten. Karen said she would love to be paid to colour but I'm telling you, five hours of colouring is more than most adults can bear. Today I was entering data into the computer. I now have a special place in my heart for people who sit at a desk and enter data into a computer all day. After and hour was ready to jump out a window and run into traffic. There are periods where we get talking about The Amazing Race or Survivor and I think, "This isn't so bad." Then we run out of things to talk about and I go back to typing in silence. Today I was so tired, after I finished work at 2, I seriously considered going to my car, curling up in the back and sleeping for the hour before the kids got out. I had to call Kristin on the way home just so I could talk to someone and stay awake. I'm wondering if my new running schedule is catching up with me or if I'm just a big ol' puss.

I was thinking the other day about washing the bed sheets and then I remembered that involved a lot of work. It got me thinking about how often I wash our sheets and while I'm not going to admit it here, I'd like to have others admit it. So how often do you wash sheets? I want to know if I'm normal or some sort of dirty freak.

Updates:
The anniversary was great. Ryan and I ate some very delicious steak and then went shopping at the new Rack. Sadly nothing was found for either of us. We had planned to go to the midnight showing of Wolverine but both of us fell asleep at eleven. Kind of like our wedding night. The next day we went to the morning showing and then I made Ryan take me to Nordstrom. Long story short, Ryan kindly bought me the jeans I've been coveting for over a year. I told him he just made up for my mom not buying me Jordache jeans when I was 9.

My bacne is gone! Ryan hates it when I talk about this on the blog, "it's gross!" but it's my blog. I've been taking my medicine for a few months and the bacne seems to have cleared up. Just in time for Seven Peaks season. Oh and the laser hair removal seems to be going well also. I'd still recommend it but I'm hoping my last few touch-up sessions will get rid of it all.

I've been searching for the perfect garbage can for the kitchen. At our old house, our pantry was large enough to accommodate a garbage can but in this house it has to be out in the open. I wanted something that looked nice but also fit in the spot I had in mind. I bought a couple but the opening would hit the lip of the island counter-top. Ryan found this one at Costco and took me over to see if it was worthy, which it was. The best part is, it's touchless! I just put my hand out and it magically opens to receive my garbage. It's so awesome, I've made a video of it for you to watch. Also for those who are wondering, I'm waiting until I get my kitchen chairs (which are on back order) before I post pictures or mind-blowing multimedia presentation of the house.

Garbage from Shea Van Fleet on Vimeo.

*Doesn't the garbage can kind of remind you of the game Mr. Mouth?