"I wish we could all get along like we used to in elementary school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles."

Hanna graduated from elementary school on Friday. I thought I would get emotional but I only got a little teary when our principal talked about his love for the education profession. Hanna and I went shopping for dresses the week before and, after we got past her initial picks that involved zebra print and polyester, (jr. prostitute?) we found a very nice dress and cardigan. I thought she looked exceptionally cute. I'm excited for her but sad she won't be with me anymore. Fly away little bird! ;)

Hanna with her teacher and principal


Cat wins award for most annoying pet
Last night as we were all getting ready for bed, I noticed that the cat was missing. Usually it's pretty underfoot, so we started looking for her around the house. None of our usual cat enticing tricks worked and that got me a little concerned. Hanna immediately started crying because she and the cat have a weird connection/they wish they could get married. Ryan went outside looking for her on the off chance that she somehow snuck outside. Did I mention it was pouring rain? I was getting pretty annoyed at this point because I have a cold and I'd just taken my last meth-cooking-have-to-get-behind-the-counter decongestant and some Niquil setting myself up for a good nights sleep. The good nights sleep never came for anyone because both Ryan and I kept waking up worried about the cat. Yes, we like our cat. She's the best pet the Van Fleets have ever had. If our first cat, Simon, had run away I would have done a happy dance. I used to pray for our dog to disappear but I like Lucy. We got up at 6 a.m. to look outside for her some more. I had this feeling that she couldn't be outside and so I started another search of the house. I went into Grace's room and in a moment of desperation, looked in her dresser drawers. As I was closing the last drawer Grace yelled, "Wait! I see a paw!" I open it back up and sure enough, the damn cat had jumped in an open drawer (not a rare thing in Grace's room) and then crawled back behind the drawers. We figure she had been in there since about 8 p.m. the night before. Why did the cat not meow or make any sort of noise? There was much relief on all our parts and I took a 2 hour nap after church to catch up on lost sleep.

Deep fried wack with a side of control slaw
I just started my 4th week without sugar. Well, I eat things that have sugar occurring in them naturally but I can't eat any "treats". You can totally skip this part if you hate people talking about their wacky eating habits. I know I'm usually irritated when I see it on Facebook or whatnot but since this is my blog, I'm going to talk about it. It hasn't been that bad. There are times when I feel super weak. Like when a student brings in glazed donuts for their birthday. I'm like Homer Simpson for donuts. The other day a teacher brought us a piece of chocolate cake that normally I wouldn't even like but I wanted to lick the icing off it. One thing I have realized is how much sugar/treats are incorporated into our daily lives. I really have to say, "No thank-you" a lot. Truvia and liquid stevia have become my new best friends. So far, I like the results I'm seeing. I'm not staying off sugar for the rest of my life. I've already told Ryan that I will be eating a coke slurpee with soft ice-cream when we are in Magrath this summer. The eating/exercise plan I'm doing is called Kristi Appro*ed (that's a "V" I took out because I don't want my blog showing up when people google the name). I won't go into it, you can check it out if you want. I haven't eaten anything I'm not supposed to in 3 weeks. My goal, 6 pack abs and the hope of inviting people to "the gun show".

"I don't think you want to take advice from me on this. I mean I ate a Three Muskateers bar for breakfast and my bra is held together by tape."

Yeah, I'm totally faster than that pregnant woman
I went on my first group bike ride on Saturday. We went 17.8 miles, which took me about 1 hour and 17 minutes. It was a VERY humbling experience. I went with people from my spin class, who take spin during the off season. Most have been riding for at least three years. I was the only novice there and it totally showed. My spin instructor, Lori, was very kind and stayed with me most of the way. I'm sure that was hard on her because she is pretty hardcore. She would go ahead of me on the hills and then double back down to ride back up with me. At the first hill she road back and said, "Wow! You're almost there, I thought I'd get a little rest." I replied, "I'm probably going to throw up at the top so you'll have time to rest then." I didn't throw up and each hill got easier. There is a big difference between spin class and riding outside. My proudest moment, passing the 6 month pregnant woman on the last big hill. That's right, I lagged behind a pregnant woman the entire way. I can tell I'm going to love this but I need a lot of practice.

Does that earring mean you're a pirate? Kind of.
A couple of weeks ago I was over at Karen's house and she asked me why I was wearing two different earrings. Um, because I'm cool like that, that's why. No, it's because I'm losing my mind. At least she told me because I'd been wearing it all day and no one in my family did. The next Friday I got home from a full day of school, where we had our annual math carnival, where parents come to help, and I realized I had one earring on. I texted two of the other teachers who were there that day and said, "So who didn't tell me I was only wearing one earring today? I'm not a pirate!" They both said they didn't notice but they are kind of mean to me.

Hunger spaz
I'm doing this new eating/exercise program, where my eating is very lean. A lot of protein, veggies, good carbs, fruit and NO SUGAR. I haven't been very hungry with it but yesterday I went to spin class and then today forgot part of my morning meal. By lunch, I was starving. I was waiting for one of the microwaves in the staff room (the other one had a nasty hair in it and I actually gagged when I opened it) when Brooke starting telling me about something that happened during "So You Think You Can Dance" last night. I don't know if it was the hunger shakes or Brooke distracting me with her wicked dancing skills but I dropped my precious meal on the floor! The salsa and part of the black beans and corn fell out. I actually considered, for a second, picking the salsa back up off the disgusting carpet of the faculty room. The salsa! That's what makes it flavorful! I cried a little inside. It didn't help that Mary was eating a red velvet doughnut next to me. I just have to wait for my afternoon meal of string cheese and an apple. I might eat the core.

Solution for working mom morning neglect
Hanna came to school with me today and I guess because she wasn't home to make noise, Grace didn't wake up until 8:00. Ryan messaged me on gmail and told me that she was running late. I said, "Just make sure she looks presentable." So he sent me this picture. Very cute but shoes might be needed.

"You know, where I come from, there's no better way to get acquainted than by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance together."

I have been reciting the pledge with my class for 159 days now and I think I know them pretty well. It's soon going to be the end of year #2 and I have to say, overall, it's been very good. I've had a nice class and I'm grateful for that. Teaching is a bit easier but it's still very challenging. I was watching the documentary "Waiting for Superman" the other day and Jeffrey Canada said it took him "maybe 5 years to be a master teacher". That would be cool but that's hard to imagine right now. I wish I could write some more "interesting" things I deal with but I'd prefer to keep my job. I also find when I tell non-teachers things that happen in school their eyes either glaze over or they look at me like I'm crazy. Ryan still lives in the world where all elementary teacher are sweet things who love everyone and everything. So when I tell him that so-and-so was driving me nuts today, he makes me feel like I'm a big meanie. I'm really looking forward to summer this year and warmer weather. This is the first week we've had, outside of the week spent in Mexico, that I might actually say it's warm. That's cool because we had an outside field trip tomorrow.

Field trip lunch-time.

I just had the funniest thing happen! I had two boys from another class accuse two boys in my class of screaming in the bathrooms. They "gave me their solemn" word that it wasn't them and then said it was two other boys from another classroom. I went and got those two boys who also told me it wasn't them. Must be the bathroom ghosts. The same ones that are pooping in the urinals. I told them that someone here was not telling me the truth since they were the only ones in the bathroom at the time. I reminded them what honesty was and blah blah blah. I finally told them that being honest would make me very happy, more happy than I would be mad. (really at this point it's a battle of wills and I felt like I was losing).
Me to boy #1: Are you telling me the truth?
Boy one: Uh huh
Boy two: yes
Boy three: shakes head yes
Boy four: I'm going to be honest, I was.
Me: Give me a high five! Way to be honest!
Boy three: I'll be honest too (while holding his hand up for a high five).
I just had to laugh at boy #3 because he was obviously going to keep on being dishonest until he saw that I wasn't mad. I hate these kind of "she said he said" situations and I've learned that they really go nowhere. Kids don't want to get "in trouble" so they will lie and they will stick with it forever. I'm super impressed by this kid who didn't but I'm not super disappointed in the one that did. Adults must be scary. I was so terrified of getting in trouble in school that I just never did anything wrong but the one time I did, I lied about it. It still eats away at me. (It doesn't)

Monkeys!
I had almost given up hope but yesterday I got an email from our resort and they found our monkey photos. This is the only one that anyone will ever see. Seven days of food binging does not result in great bathing suit photos but I had to show you the monkeys. My monkey looks like it loved me more than Ryan's monkey. Man! I'd love to squeeze a monkey right now. So cute!

Because I'm the mother...that's why
I've got my very own pre-teen right now and I see that I'm getting payback for the moody child I was. Hanna has decent style but she is still experimenting and sometimes she wants things from the jr. prostitute line. I tell her that aint happening and then she gets all pissy. I don't react well to her behaviour and so there are consequences. We got rid of our land line phone last week, so for Hanna's 12th birthday (in a few weeks) she got a cell phone (that she will have to share with Grace). She has already had it "grounded" because of being snotty to me. She'll learn. You don't mess with mama. Happy Mother's Day to everyone who has been a "mom" to me. Luvs you!