You can't judge a kid by it's baby

I was venting to friends one day about how challenging my job is and made the comment that it was the most challenging thing I'd ever done. It isn't. The most challenging thing was being a new mom to a colicky baby(the whole miscarriage/Evie death was just shitty and I don't see it as a challenge per se). I thought I was so smart before I had Hanna because I read all those baby books and what to expect crap but after being a mom for about 3 seconds I realized I knew nothing. Then the crying started and it didn't seem to stop for about 6 months. I didn't sleep through the night until Hanna was 9 months old and not on a regular basis until she was 1ish. I read books about nursing but none of them talked about a baby who likes to rip herself from your nipple and look around the room every 3 seconds because she was afraid she might miss something. It was a rough, sleep deprived year, but for some reason we decided to get pregnant when Hanna was 11 months because, well, we are just crazy. I remember being terrified that I'd have another Hanna. That we'd be up all night with two babies would only nap during the day if they were nursed to sleep on your chest. I really did spend a lot of time worrying about this. I think I probably had some form of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from Hanna's first year. About a minute after Grace was born, I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be a repeat of Hanna's first year. She was so calm from the beginning. Where they were bringing Hanna to me screaming every 20 minutes, Grace was gone for 8 hours the first night and I had to call down to the nursery to get her brought to my room. She just chilled at home, slept through the night at 6 weeks and napped in her CRIB! She was super smiley, happy and only made this kind of shouting noise when she was hungry. She nursed like a champ and was happy to go anywhere. I thought for sure that this was how their temperaments were going to be the rest of their lives. Hanna would be my high-maintenance child while Grace would just smile though life. Well, as you have probably figured out by now, I was wrong. Grace is very sweet and loving but she is stubborn, has a temper and can sustain a tantrum longer than I knew was possible. Hanna is my easygoing kid. She will get upset but she usually just runs to her room crying and hides in the closet. Grace wants to rant and scream about the injustice that is being done to her. Grace is upset about many, many things and since she and I are alike, we tend to get each other worked up. In public, Grace is a model child. Teachers and friends never believe that "sweet Grace" could act like that. So at least she knows what is socially acceptable. Yesterday morning she and I clashed over what she was going to wear for the day. Cry, cry, cry. In the evening I decided it was time to take them to get their first haircuts in over a year. I decided Hanna could get a few bangs because her hair is kind of thin and needed something to break it up. Grace has beautiful thick, wavy hair and both Ryan and I like it one length and long. I could tell, the minute I told the stylist that I wanted Hanna to get bangs, that there was going to be trouble after. Grace held it in until we got out of the salon and then she started the tantrum to end all tantrums. I had to stop and get Ryan a burrito and she cried through that, then I stopped to get drinks at Sonic and she cried through that.

"NEXT TIME I GET MY HAIR CUT I'M GETTING BANGS!"

"No."

"YES I AM!"

"No, you're not."

"YES, I AM!"

And so it went for the rest of the night. She came home and went to her room where she sobbed loudly for an hour. Ryan went to talk to her and she told him that "She hated herself and hated her life." Which really upset him and me because no one wants to hear there kid talk like that. I also heard her say that, "This was the worst day ever!" before she slammed her door. Eventually we got her calmed down enough to get in bed and go to sleep. This morning she woke up and everything was okay. She was happy, loving Grace again. She had stayed up really late the night before at a birthday party so maybe she was tired? Maybe we all have days we want to scream and rant but because it's not really socially acceptable we just bottle it up inside. Perhaps I should take a lesson from Grace. I want to add that Grace doesn't do this often. Usually she really is a nice, sweet kid who is happy to please but I guess the rule is, like with the Hulk, don't get her mad.