she was one frozen entree away from a nervous breakdown

I hit a wall this weekend in regards to winter. We got a taste of nice weather this week and I had high hopes for the weekend. It wasn't to be and instead it snowed and blew most of the weekend. This morning I got up in the nasty mood. I went online and caught up on some blog type reading that only left me in a worse mood. Now that I'm working in public education I'm very sensitive to people who criticize it. Do they realize that some days I start crying in class after reading with a group of children because I worry about their reading abilities? That I spend my free time finding resources that will challenge my students who are above grade level? Or that I dream at night about students who are struggling because they are in my thoughts so much? Does that sound like I only care about test scores, rote memorization and churning out worksheets? I know I shouldn't let others opinions bother me but teachers and public education are attacked so often that it's hard to ignore all the time. I know the system is not perfect by any means but most teachers try to give your child the best education they can.

Whew! That rant is over. Back to the horrible weather that gives me a huge case of the sads. I haven't been running (my Nike Mini mocks me) and only made it to one spin class this week. For me exercise=good mental health and without it, things go downhill fast. I ate so badly this weekend that my body violently revolted. My muffin top is turning into a whole loaf of bread. Mmmm...bread. I'm not being a great parent as evidenced by my lack of empathy when child #2 told me she would be sleeping on the floor in her room because she didn't have lunch. Well, lunch was provided but it wasn't up to her standards. I know things in my life are good, I really do. That is how depression works, life can be great but you still feel bad. I was told when I was younger that journal writing isn't supposed to be all happy puppies and sunshine because that's not how life really is. It is time though, to get out of this funk and do something about it. So this week I'm determined to be and do better. Spring will come, the sun will shine, spring break will start and I'll be happy, full of positive-rainbow-kitten-filled thoughts, Shea again.

What a difference some sun makes
It's been a couple of sun filled days since I wrote the first part of this post. I'm feeling much better. Spring is in the air and life seems good again. No, I'm not bi-polar but the weather affects me a lot. Yesterday I had the privilige of going with Hanna to her fifth grade maturation program. Things like that are the reason I'm very happy I'll still be in the same school with them. They've come a long way since the dated film strip that was shown when I was in fifth grade but it's basically the same facts, minus the belted pads. I told Hanna that if she is anything like me, she doesn't need to worry about this for another 4-5 years. I'm looking over at all 54lbs of her when they started talking about wearing a bra and wanted to say, "I'm sorry sister but odds are, you won't need one of those for years." I'll probably get her some sort of cami/sports bra thing for next year because I remember Sandra Stevenson and I making a pact that we would wear a bra on the first day of grade six. I don't think Sandra or I need them yet. Hanna's cool though. She knew all this stuff and more before. I highly recommend "The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls" which is published by American Girl. Honestly, it's hard for me to wrap my brain around Hanna being almost 11. It doesn't help that she's built like a 7 year old either. I remember a lot of her baby-hood very vividly because it was such a life changing time. Some days I wish I could transport myself back in time and hold that little baby again but I'm really happy with the person she is turning out to be.
My "mature" girl