Monday, February 16, 2009
Today has not been a good day
Ryan and I had a fight today. That's right, the perfect couple fights. I won't get into the fight other than to say it was started by something stupid (surprise) and ended with some really hurt feelings on both sides. Whenever we fight I always think the same thing, "that was so idiotic." We don't really have a lot to fight about so it seems we pick really trivial things to fight about. "You were breathing too loud." or "You ate the last grapefruit." I guess when your relationship is usually quite good, you have to pick these stupid things to fight about or you'd be like Mike and Carol Brady. That made it sound like I enjoy fighting and the Brady's are lame because they didn't. This isn't so, I hate fighting. It can leave me feeling nauseous. It can also give me crazy thoughts like, "That it! I'm out of here." For the first time ever, I got so mad today that I didn't remember what happened. The rage was so bad, that I couldn't control my actions. That left me feeling scared. I'm usually a pretty easy going person, so when I get this way I end up feeling humiliated. My thing with fighting is, I want it to be over quickly. I want to fight and then an hour later I want us to be happy Ryan and Shea again. Ryan doesn't get over it so easily and I find this so hard to understand. Why prolong the misery? Then I wonder if I'm some sort of robot who doesn't feel? I guess I don't mind the fight, but I hate the aftermath. I hate the angry silence and then the talking where we talk in circles about the same things we always talk about. I love Ryan, he's my best friend, so it really hurts me when he is mad at me. Plus we usually get along so well, that the contrast is hard to bear. I don't like people being mad at me in general. I'm sure I should be bringing this up in therapy (I don't go anymore. I'm cured!) but instead I tell the world on my blog. Actually writing is therapy so maybe I'm heading in the right direction. Tomorrow will be better.
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16 comments:
((hug))
Just keep in mind that arguing doesn't mean lack of love. You guys obviously do love and care for each other. It's OK to fight once in a while. (even if it feels lousy at the time...)
Also keep in mind that people who don't fight don't necessarily love each other! :)
My sweetheart and I have never had a fight. We never disagree because she sees that my side of everything is the right side.
Also, we have a date night every Friday which I usually pick the activity for.
Another thing that has really helped is that I made a commitment on my wedding day that I would never, under any circumstances, remove my wedding ring.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I"m off to pick up Becky's Prozac prescription.
Don't you also follow the rule of not going to bed angry? That one is always so helpful and practical.
Ter, I guess if I didn't like him it wouldn't bother me when we fight. That's a good sign eh?!LOL!
It happens to all of us. Fighting does suck, though. I hate it when they give you the silent treatment, especially since I am unable to keep silent long enough to do that back. Are you giving the silent treatment back or just walking on eggshells? The sun will come out....
I'm not good at giving the silent treament. I'm the one who wants to work it out immediately and go back to where we were. Things are bettter today.
Oh Shea it must be going around...we did it for 4 hours last night...just talking in circles and getting no where..I felt sick to my stomach too. I have a hard time getting over things if I can't convince Iain that he is wrong and I am right...lol! It took me 4 hours last night... I'm LMAO at your "I'm cured" comment. Too funny!
Lor I also wish every argument could end with "Yes Shea, you are 100% right." It never happens.
This lady came into my work today and tried to bait me into an argument about George Bush - I started to get sucked in and then just walked away. I was all skakey and adrenalin filled afterward - I couldn't figure out why this woman enjoys fighting, it makes me feel kind of sick. So weird. Sorry you had a bad day. Hope the cabbage rolls turn out well.
Becky
I know Becky, it's hard to live in a world where people want to put down President Bush.
Well, I'm glad that you and Ry aren't fighting anymore.
I don't like to fight, and yet I do enjoy a good argument. But sometimes it is hard to have one without the other.
HI SHEA,
Did you tell Ryan you were sorry?
Love Mom and Dad.....
HI SHEA,
Did you tell Ryan you were sorry?
Love Mom and Dad.....
Darin and I are right there with you. Except that I'm the one that takes a while to come down from it. I can't explain it and I envy Darin for being able to be over it, whatever it was, in like five seconds. I have to say things like, "I'm sorry babe, I just need a few hours. I'll say something stupid if you try and chat me up right now. Give me a bit. Sorry!" Even when I don't WANT to be mad anymore it just takes time for the tension or whatever to totally go away. Like a slow leak. Lame.
Liz, interesting that we both have relationships where each person is kind of opposite when it comes to the way they get over things.
{{{HUGS}}}
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