For Evie

Many of you know we lost our baby girl Evie Shea this year at 20 weeks.
She only lived for a few moments but those moments have changed me
forever. It's hard this time of year because I think about how I should
have been very pregnant now and how we'd all be so excited for our new
baby to come. I miss her so much but I have to go one with my life even
if it's mostly on autopilot because I have people who depend on me. I received a Christmas card today from the hospital where Evie was born and this poem was inside it. I just thought it was a great poem and it put into words what I feel this season. God bless.

Dear Baby
Holiday decorations and light and music
Sometimes seem out of place to me this year.
I am celebrating the season.
Just a little more subdued than usual.
Oh, I will put on a happy face
And try not to spoil it for others.
But inside my heart aches to look up
And see you there too.
Instead, I know you will only be a present in my heart
But you will be there, always there.
I will learn to do things without you.
I will learn how to accomplish my plans
And celebrate the future
Differently now.
Holidays are times of miracles.
I will choose to believe in miracles
And see the light
Instead of the darkness.
I will remember
Your fluttering presence.
Your anticipated arrival.
Your contribution to our family.
Differently now.
But I will remember.
And celebrating the season
Does not mean you are forgotten.
You are a part of me always
And you live here in my heart.
-W.W. Roberts.