I just couldn't keep it private

I have this weird quirk where I visualize things in my mind. Like when I'm counting I visualize the numbers in my head or sometimes when talking I see the words in my mind. Since I made the blog private, I've been having this vision in my head of my blog and it's dark as though it's in a tunnel. Sounds crazy I know but it has really been bothering me that I felt pressured to go private. I've deleted any links/trails from the house blog so I'm hoping it's safe to go public again. Being private made me not want to post anymore and I need to do this for me.