Employed or Dying?

My friend karen used to tell me that when she went back to work after being home for 15 years, she felt like she had a terminal illness. That the day she went back to work was the day she would die. Now I understand. This morning I felt nauseous and so anxious I had to take half a Xanax which I only use when I feel "A Big Freak Out" coming. I met with the principal and fascilitator at today and they were very kind and understanding of my craziness. I'm going to work Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. I will cover teacher's classrooms when they are at staff development and I'll do reading recovery with 2nd grade students. I cover for Hanna's teacher which is fun. It's not my dream job but I'll be in the school with the girls and it's only 18 hours a week. I told the principal that my goal was to teach here someday (look at me, self-promoting!). I'll start on the 29th and hopefully it will be Xanax free. I'm feeling good about it but it's hard to give up all this freedom. Just in case you're not familiar with Utah's public school system, I will not be making the big bucks so don't come begging for money.