I was driving back from the gym tuesday evening when it hit me that I was a 33 year old mother of two, living in rural Utah, listening to The Pixies while driving my mini-van. I can't really describe the feeling that followed because I don't exactly know what it was. I wish I could say it was joy but it wasn't. I'm not unhappy with my situation but sometimes I wonder if I should have accomplished more in 33 years. Then I hear Oprah telling me that "motherhood is the hardest job ever" and I feel a bit validated. I'm sure in a couple of years when I'm teaching again I'll look back on this post and think I was a complete idiot for ever thinking working might somehow make me feel more appreciated.
One thing I do love about my life are the people I have chosen to go through it with. After I almost burned out house down with the egg fire, we had to wash everything in the house. This included the duvet cover and I've been super lazy about back on. It's hard! So for almost a month the duvet has been on the bed without the cover and everyday it bugs me. Plus I use it as an excuse to never make the bed which makes our room look constantly messy. Does this spur me into action and put the duvet cover back on? No. A couple of days ago I came home to find the duvet cover on and the bed made. It made me feel a surge of love toward Ryan that he would do this. It's little things like this that me glad I married him.
2 comments:
Everytime I hear Oprah say that motherhood is the hardest job, I too feel validated because it's coming from someone who doesn't even know what motherhood is first hand (unless you count her dogs). It didn't hit me either until we got the mini van last year, and that van couldn't make me feel any less sexier. Maybe if I was driving an SUV it would help, but I think that is stretching it! If it makes you feel any better, I think you look like your in you twenties still.
Hey Shea - I've definitely had moments where I realize that THIS is my life. Sounds like you've made some great choices to get where you are today so you should be very proud of your accomplishments!
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